I am alone and I am lonely and yes,
There is a difference.
Half of my friends are across an ocean
Half of them are undiscovered
And all of them I do not truly know.
I am part of no
Group chats
Ugly snaps
Insta tags.
Inside jokes are a mystery to me
I’ve never stayed out laughing until three
It’s hard to remember how to be
I’m out of practice in being me.
Can I recall the last time I hugged someone?
The last time I danced?
When have I ever had a pizza party?
A year of being alone and lonely.
And yes,
There is a difference.
I am alone on Friday nights
On Monday mornings.
When I have good news
Or tough decisions.
I am alone.
I am lonely while scrolling my social media.
While I watch like an outsider
as you gather in groups.
I long to have friends again.
Just one.
I miss
Being a friend.
I am alone and I am lonely and yes,
There is a difference.