Mental Health

Anorexia: A poetic trilogy

Written by Alma Claire / Artist: Joshua Ben

Smile by Alma Claire

They will not notice if I smile.

Smile.

I can hide my broken if I smile.

Smile.

The ugly bones and eyes like stones

will not show if I smile.

Smile.

Eyes watch plate.

Smile.

Heart begins to race.

Smile.

They are all out to get me

-smile-

They are trying to trick me

-smile-

They want to ruin me

-smile-

They are noticing and bones are showing and I am breaking and the smile is fading

and and and

I can’t breathe : Smile.

 

 

Choking on Perfection

I am no sculpture.

There is nothing to admire here,

nothing to touch or hold.

Nothing to love.

Michael Angelo would have discarded me:

a failure.

I am scaffolding.

Hard and lifeless;

a shell of what is to come – no,

what has been.

Hollow and barely standing.

I wither and wilt:

starved

shallow

selfish.

Feed on emptiness.

Swallow pain and spit out shame.

Choke on perfection.

I wither and wilt:

delusional

desperate

dying.

 

 

Swallow by Alma Claire

I am standing alone

in a room

with the shadows.

People dance

and laugh

and glow.

There is light dripping off them;

their words

their thoughts

their bodies.

What a mess.

I prefer the dark

and the cold

where no one can see me.

Burned out, I watch them.

I envy them,

worship them,

despise them.

Swallow air.

Swallow pride.

Anything to full tonight.

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