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CO-CREATING RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS

Written by Niella Amei / Art by Sarah Dahir

Considering the metaphorical space that is needed within romantic relationships, and exploring them as the place in which a strong mutual dynamic can flourish - where energies meet and grow.

A relationship dynamic can be created with any person, however this post is aimed at the sacred dynamic of a romantic relationship, applying to any form thereof: monogamy, polyamory, open relationships etc.

If one were to imagine a space between you and your lover(s), imagine standing face to face with them and observing the physical space between you. See how you are independent beings co-creating a relationship dynamic. Now, even if you were pressed up against one another, hugging or making love, the space still exists, as does the relationship dynamic. This is because the space you create between two or more people is not only physical, it is metaphorical. The space between you is the foundation of your relationship dynamic.

Observe the space between you as a safe space; a place where you inject love, kindness, open-mindedness, empathy and non-judgement. See the space as an area of your life where you feel you can relax and be real, unafraid of speaking your truth. View the space not as your own, but as ‘ours’ that you co-create with your significant other(s). This mutual understanding of what ‘the space’ represents will allow for an organic flow in the relationship dynamic.

A relationship dynamic is, simply put, a dynamic between you and your partner(s). The dynamic is based within what you co-create. If the space is the foundation, the dynamic is the ever-changing growth. For the dynamic to be flowing, growing and positive, all people involved in the relationship need to respect each other and be willing to abide by the boundaries and nurture the flowing dynamic with care.

The energy one puts into the space will reflect the flow or stagnation of the relationship dynamic. Stagnant relationships are often due to the people involved using the sacredness of the space as an off-bearer, i.e: constantly putting in negative emotions and energy, either to gain attention or due to inner suffering. Though negative emotions are natural and it is healthy and needed for them to come to the surface, by constantly becoming dependent on your partner(s) to bring you out of your misery, make you feel better, be there for you, uplift you…You are asking of them to put kindness, recognition, empathy, love and understanding into the space all the while filling it with negativity yourself, which becomes increasingly draining.

As an independent being, one cannot expect others to be a constant source of support. One has to support oneself to be able to have healthy relationship dynamics that respect the sacredness of each other’s flow.

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